Some Weird German Chick Implores Us All To Evacuate The Dance Floor
Cascada, “Evacuate the Dance Floor”
Cascada is the name of the group, not the blonde girl who sings. Her name is Natalie Horler, and she’s German, and the other two guys in the group are DJ/producers, and they have eurotrash German DJ names that I can’t remember. With “Evacuate the Dance Floor,” together this trio dropped maybe the most average dance-pop song of 2009, a fiercely unremarkable and unoriginal piece of music.
The verse is a Britney crib job. The chorus is all Gaga laser synths. The bridge is a weird “cameo” from some rapper who looks like Bow Wow but whose terrible name is Carlprit. He sounds like Sean Paul doing an Eminem impression, and he opens his breakdown verse by saying, “Guess who’s back?” I was like, “Wait a second, is that Carlprit? He’s back already? I had previously thought he would not be coming back – what’s he going to do now?” Well, then he tells us, on his verse. Actually no wait he doesn’t. He just says a bunch of stuff about dancing on the dance floor. There seems to be some confusion among the performers on this song about whether the dance floor is a destination of fun or an area to be hastily abandoned. Then Horler says “Hey, Mr. DJ…!” through a vocoder and who cares about anything after that because we are dancing right and it’s best not to think very hard about the words why bother because we are having fun and words are only there to fill in the spaces we don’t really even need words right and if I do have to think about the words I prefer them to be words I’ve heard before like Hey Mr. DJ or Guess Who’s Back!!
2010 is going to kick ass. Enjoy:
It sounds like she is cutting loose so much that she is having a “system overload”. That must happen when you have reeeally hot moves. I personally don’t know, but hypothetically it makes sense.
Good call on the Gaga chorus. We should’ve been expecting this at some point. The question is, how many more Gaga-ripped acts will follow? I say many.
She looks like a man who had a sex change to look like Carrie Underwood.
why would she want everyone to evacuate the dance floor? i literally just checked an online dictionary to make sure there wasn’t a definition for “evacuate” that i was unfamiliar with.